Today’s workplace is more dynamic than ever before. Since the pandemic’s start, workers across all industries are demanding better work-life balance. Developing a cohesive workforce is no longer about finding an employee that checks all the boxes or molding someone to conform to your well-oiled machine. There’s now a more empathetic attitude toward understanding personalities and communication styles within the workplace. It’s about understanding who your team members are and motivating them to bring their best.

Today, many of us engage with our coworkers more than our friends and family. Yet, the relationships we have at work are generally surface-level. We participate in trivial conversations, but when it’s all said and done, we don’t know whether the boss values more quality time or if our coworker needs a word of encouragement.

The Five Love Languages

In his book The Five Love Languages, Dr. Gary Chapman discusses building a more robust relationship by speaking the other partner’s “love language.” These Five Love Languages apply to almost any relationship. Here, we set out to explain how these love languages translate into the workplace and how you can use them to create a more harmonious and unified work environment.

Words of Affirmation

Have you ever had a job where your boss was quick to offer help on a project but never seemed to acknowledge your work? The situation can be frustrating because they only seem to want to do the work themselves, making you feel as if your contributions aren’t worthy. Perhaps their love language is acts of service, and they are simply doing what comes naturally, what he appreciates from others. However, if your love language is words of affirmation, you may need some verbal encouragement to feel validated.

How to use Words of Affirmation in the workplace:

Words of Affirmation aren’t simply encouraging or motivating clichés. Instead, they’re more about letting members of your team know they’re valued. So, highlight something your boss did that stood out to you; give your coworker a shout-out when they offered support on a project, or just let someone know that they’re doing a great job. That affirmation goes such a long way.

If you thrive on receiving Words of Affirmation, bring it up to your team! Let them know that an a quick acknowledgment makes you feel appreciated. Or request feedback from your boss to keep you on track. By receiving positive reinforcement, you’ll feel valued and continue to do your best.

Quality Time

If one of your New Year’s resolutions was to schedule more one-on-one time with your boss or coworker, it’s likely your dominant love language is Quality Time. Quality time can mean different things to different people. Some thrive on regular check-ins with their supervisor; some prefer group assignments to be part of the team. Either way, you feel most accepted when others spend quality time with you.

How to use Quality Time in the workplace:

Workplace morale can directly reflect the Quality Time you spend with your coworkers or employees, and it can help your team operate better. Quality Time can be a quick chat over coffee or brief meetings to clear up any inconsistencies. Without slowing down and listening, you might be missing out on things that make your team function more effectively

To take it to the next level, try activities outside of work. Making time for those on your team provides an opportunity to get to know one another on a deeper level and help those who identify with this love language perform better. So, be a team player; help your teammates by spending more quality time with them.

Giving/Receiving Gifts

Whether it be giving or receiving, the art of gift-giving in the workplace looks slightly different from a romantic relationship. Rather than a grand gesture, giving gifts looks more like small tokens of appreciation or incentives in the workplace.

How to use Gifts in the workplace:

If you’re in a leadership role, try giving your team an incentive for completing a project or meeting a goal. To carry out this love language with your coworkers, try grabbing a morning coffee for your #workbestie, grab a box of donuts for everyone in the office, or pick up the lunch tab now and then.

If receiving gifts is your preferred love language, try taking on new challenges at work that produce measurable results. This is the gift that keeps on giving, as the anticipation of successfully meeting a tangible goal gives you the opportunity to produce something to be proud of.

Take on a new challenge that produces clear-cut results. Working on a project from start to finish is the gift that keeps on giving, as the anticipation of successfully completing a concrete task allows you to create something to be proud of.

Acts of Service

Have you’ve ever been pleasantly surprised because a team member offered to complete a task before you could ask? Acts of Service might be your prominent love language. 

How to use Acts of Service in the workplace:

If Acts of Service is your main love language, then you’ll be eager to volunteer for special projects that no one else wants to tackle. You likely won’t mind taking on additional responsibilities to achieve company goals. Your initiative shows preparedness and may just pave the way for career advancement. As a bonus, this love language shows off your team player skills.

If your boss’ or coworker’s major love language is Acts of Service, then make them feel valued by submitting your portion of a project early. Or offer to complete a task for a project on which your teammate is working. You’ll not only give your teammate a boost, but you’ll give yourself the opportunity and experience of performing duties and responsibilities you would have otherwise missed out on.

Physical Touch

We’re not here to advocate that you hug your coworkers or entertain romantic relationships in the workplace. Although physical touch doesn’t exactly translate well into the workplace, that doesn’t mean that you can’t utilize this love language appropriately.

How to use Physical Touch in the workplace:

Simple things such as high fives, fist-bumps, or celebratory handshakes work well as HR-safe alternatives. Sometimes, just sitting next to your coworker at lunch makes them feel more connected.

If physical touch is your prevailing love language, offering a firm handshake or an enthusiastic high five is the only way to go in the workplace.

The Upshot

While some people are motivated by data and numbers, others may appreciate positive reinforcement to better judge their wins. Understanding your own personal love language will help you build stronger relationships with those around you, including your coworkers. Taking time to get to know what drives each of your team members, everyone can get what they need to perform their best, whether that be a congratulatory shout-out or a World’s Best Boss mug.